Things i unlearnt and learnt as I grew up 🗣️

Things i unlearnt and learnt as i grew up:

1. it's okay to have an opinion on things. you aren't the person you were 10 years ago. even if you are afraid, it's okay to want to change and express yourself without feeling that you are a bother or an inconvenience. you can tell your friends that you don't like to go to clubs every Friday, you can decide which restaurant you want to try, you can ask them to change something if you feel uncomfortable, you can tell them to respect your boundaries if they overstep. you are allowed not to be nice to the family members who are always mocking you, you can be a part of planning a trip rather than just saying "oh, anything's fine". people aren't adjusting to your needs. you are just finding balance and being involved the way it suits you.

2. it's okay to forgive someone and still cut off their access to you. you don't have to answer their unnecessary questions or make them understand why you don't want them in your life. don't let others dictate to you how you should behave or treat someone who has only caused you pain. you can simply say "i forgive you but i don't want you anymore in my life." forgiving and forgetting are two different things. it's okay to choose the one that makes you happier. 

3. it feels lighter when you make your life easier for yourself. there's no point of forcing yourself to go through rough obstacles and stress. i know life can be pesky, and heaviness is something you can't escape from. but because we have enough sadness and problems to deal with already, it's better to make our life easier by doing things the way we want to. it's okay to dress in comfortable clothes even when everyone else is wearing something fancy, it's okay to eat your ramen with fork even when your Mother incessantly complains how you can't properly use a chopstick, it's fine to choose a job where you'll thrive instead of going for something that everyone else thinks is better fit for you. you are older, you can make your own decisions and if it causes you regret, you can change your life. there's no point in doing something everyone else has done even when it doesn't suit you. everything works differently for everyone. 

4. healing doesn't always come with trauma or pain. you don't always have to go through life altering changes to heal. you find yourself healing when you let people love you. you find yourself healing when you are around people who exude warmth, when you watch a good film, when you take long walks in the city as the sun slowly sets and envelops the streets and skyscrapers in its melting yellow hue. you heal every time you pick up your pen or brush to create art, or when you pet that little cat you always wanted to, or when you are genuinely having fun. yes, discomfort pushes our boundaries and we learn about the world in unfamiliar ways but our comfort spaces are equally important because they remind us that there's plenty of space in our lives where we can find love and support, too. 

5. home is where the heart is. and your heart doesn't necessarily have to belong with your parents or your siblings. it's okay if you know that they are toxic or that they don't support you. you are not obligated to feel at home with them. parents can cause trauma even when they love you. family can be toxic even if they can't live without you. these are the things that you learn as you grow up. it's okay to grieve your loss, but it's okay to want to move on and make a space for yourself that screams home to you. you can decorate it with the things you like, you can dress the way you want to, you can accept yourself even when you know you will never be accepted by them. there are going to be plenty of people who'll feel happy around you. i promise you that you will be accepted somewhere else— in a place where people will support you even when they can't fully understand you, or where people will have gone through the same things as you. life is too short to accommodate people who make you feel unwanted or small. living is already hard so please, don't hide yourself just to make others feel content. your existence should be acknowledged, not merely tolerated. 

Life is going to be okay, please remember to be there for yourself. 

~Shrishtisinghrajput✨