Missing✨

MISSING 

Been looking for something I lost in places I never placed it,

I put my hand on smooth objects and only feel their sharp edges,

I'm twisted,

Bended at an angle no one can measure,

Arched monstrously never to be straighted.

I'm going through the ups and downs of this thing called life

It's gotten pretty bad just not bad enough for me to leave it 

So I'm still here

Banging my chest and screaming that I can't be defeated,

More to convince myself than anyone who might have listened,

But, they...will never know.

No one can hear it,

The steady decrease of my heart beat,

The increased shallowness of the breath I take in, 

So I keep it a secret,

Silence the red flags that threaten to reveal my sickness, 

Trick my tongue into spilling lies ,Trick my mind into believing it,

I am the destructive captain to the ship that is my existence, 

...Will I make it out alive?

I'm lost,

I'm trying to find my way back...or my way forward,

But, somewhere along the line I went missing,

No one sent a search team yet and the burden falls upon me,

I Guide myself in the darkness where direction is obsolete 

Will I survive?

Will I escape this hellish loop or will be demised?.....I'm not sure,

Is the fact that I'm still looking a waste of my time?.....It might be, 

But then again, I'm a great liar who has a way with tricks,

And I've told myself there's hope for me yet.

@Shrishtisinghrajput✨